No Rain

All I can say is that my life is pretty plain

I like watchin' the puddles gather rain

And all I can do is just pour some tea for two

and speak my point of view

But it's not sane, It's not sane

I just want some one to say to me

I'll always be there when you wake

Ya know I'd like to keep my cheeks dry today

So stay with me and I'll have it made

And I don't understand why I sleep all day

And I start to complain that there's no rain

And all I can do is read a book to stay awake

And it rips my life away, but it's a great escape

escape......escape......escape......

All I can say is that my life is pretty plain

ya don't like my point of view

ya think I'm insane

Its not sane......it's not sane 

~ No Rain - Blind Melon

  I'm going to take a little trip back in time and talk about when we met. 

  It was 1993, and I was working a minimum wage job at a local convenience store. I couldn't afford a place of my own at the time and my roommate was charging me most of my paycheck for rent. To get by I needed to be resourceful and I was earning some extra cash by selling some herbal recreational products. *wink*

  

One day an old high school buddy called me to order a delivery of said product, I said 'no problem' and headed over. When I got there, I saw his roommate in the kitchen talking to the most beautiful ginger haired man I had ever laid eyes on. I was instantly smitten...so much so that I almost forgot to get the money for my delivery. My buddy asked me if I wanted to hang out a while but unfortunately I couldn't. I had to leave for my crappy job as a convenience store clerk. I never wanted to hang out more though, and all night at work the mental image of that dazzling red head kept crowding my brain. I decided to ask my buddy who his roommates friend was the next time I saw him.

  

As it turned out, I was sidetracked by other events in my life - my roommate turned out to be schizophrenic and had a freaky scary meltdown on me, and about a week after that I got robbed at knife point at the store. This was just too much for me so I was busy looking for both a new job and a new place to live. I still couldn't afford a place of my own so I needed to find a new roommate pronto or it was back to my dad's house. 

  

My new roommates turned out to be my high school buddy and his roommate. My buddy's dad had recently bought and remodeled a duplex that had been fire damaged and now he needed tenants. The upper unit was a 3 bedroom and since my buddy and his roomie were already moving in they decided to let me move in with them. Huzzah! I had a new place with non-psycho roommates and reasonable rent! I had even found a new job - things were looking up.

   

I settled into the new place and started my new job cleaning at a casino. And then one day I came home from work and there he was! The beautiful red head was sitting on our living room couch... I was completely flustered and just mumbled 'hey' as I cut through the living room to my bedroom in the back of the house. Once in my room, my heart raced and I quickly changed out of my lame work uniform and into some 'normal' clothes. By the time I got up the nerve to go back into the living room however, he was gone. He'd been waiting for roomie #2 and they had taken off while I was in my room changing. Dammit. My buddy roomie #1 was still home though, so I grilled him for info. What was his name? Is he single? The usual stuff... I was unsurprised to learn he had a girlfriend. Of course he did! It was just my luck that any guy I thought was attractive would already be taken. Inwardly I sighed and felt disappointed. I would have to admire him from afar then.

  

Life went on, and he kept coming over - he was my roomies buddy after all. And since the pressure was off, I got brave enough to start talking to him. Every time I saw him I'd smile and say 'hey!' and he'd reply 'Happy _____'  ('____' being whatever day of the week it was - ie: Happy Wednesday!) He always seemed genuinely happy to see me, and I would just buzz for hours from his smile alone. Through our chats with each other we discovered we had many interests in common, and similar points of view on many things. We liked the same bands and the same movies. And we were already showing signs of being on the same wavelength - once we were sitting around in the living room and the song No Rain by Blind Melon was playing on the radio. A friend of mine began to trash the song, it wasn't to his liking - he being a thrash metal fan. I defended it - "I like this song" I said. "Me too" the ginger replied and in unison we both said "it has nice harmonies" and then laughed at the coincidence.

Deep inside I knew... my gut was telling me this was the one - and I began secretly hoping he would break up with his girlfriend - soon.

   

More time passed and roomie #1 pissed off roomie #2, so roomie #2 moved out. This began an era of revolving door of roommates that roomie #1 found to take up the slack. They came fast and furious and left much the same way. One of them was a young lady, who eventually became roomie #1's girlfriend. Secure in that position, he moved into her bed and found some more revolving door roomies to fill the empty room. The next was the young lady's friend, looking to move out of her parents house. We all got along reasonably well and it seemed the roommate situation had stabilized for the moment.

  

Then one day I got my wish! I got home and heard from roomie #1's girlfriend that the pretty ginger I'd been lusting for had split up with his girlfriend! *happy dance!* I resolved that the next time I saw him, I'd turn on the charm. He came over as I was leaving for work the next day, not his usual cheerful self but he still gave me a smile and a Happy Tuesday or whichever as I was heading out. I had a new job at this point - delivering pizza - and worked shorter hours, so I was home about 6 hours later and completely stoked when I saw his car was still there. I walked in the door and there was about 15 people hanging out in the living room watching tv. All I saw though was the pretty red head on the couch, completely enveloped by the arms of the young lady's friend. And in my head I heard the fail trombone play. With a mumbled 'hey' I quickly retreated into my room. My mind reeled...how could this be?! That fast? And of all people, why her?! She was completely vapid and was always trying to one-up people. Didn't he know I liked him? How could he not know? I absolutely ached for him and thought of practically nothing else - it had to be visible from space!

Dammit, dammit, dammit! 

Deep inside I was certain it wouldn't last that long, I was going to have to wait it out.

I wound up waiting 4 more years.